The Downward Spiral

I have not written in sometime. It has been increasingly harder to do so. Life, for me has become something of a downward spiral and once caught on the ever increasing slippery slide it has been near impossible to focus on anything else. 
Sometimes, as we walk along on our journeys we don’t notice that the path is leading us slowly round and down. Things seem manageable and controllable until that one step when your feet come from under you and down you begin to slide. It has been a while since I landed in a dark night of the soul. But alas, here I am.

I have read and listened to the elders of our world open up and speak to the world, of how now in the time of so much change we need to prepare for the vibrational shift that is occurring on our planet and in the universe, leading up to the shift in Ages in 2012. One lesson that is spoken of, is how we have to face our shadows and deal with the darkness within our souls, so that we can attune to the New Earths energies. If your Ego is strong like mine, it thinks that it can handle anything. It thinks, with lessons already overcome, it has gained control and mastery. That is until it realizes it is trapped in shadow with itself.

Life has it’s pits and its mountains and you are NEVER in control with the landscape of your life. To think you are, will lead you, like me, down the rabbit hole, left to accept all that is out of your control. The crises that play out around us all at home, at work, in our communities, and in the world are not in any individuals control. This idea that you can somehow fight against whichever imminent crisis you are facing is where I was and only left me completely depleted. The cause was right and just but the more I fought against the injustices infecting my family, the deeper I went until it consumed me.

So, here I am in the dark and feeling defeated. I can’t climb out of the slippery slopes. They were designed like that for a purpose. Now exhausted from the struggle I finally collapse and ask myself, “what can I do?”. All that there is for you to do is sit, I am instructed from within. Sit and Rest. Sit and wait for the shadows to reveal themselves and teach their powerful lessons. I feel resistance and want grasp yet again for control but I know how futile it is. “But, I...” my ego desperate to hold on and negotiate the terms of it’s surrender. The longer you struggle the longer it takes. My ego flails, cries, gets angry. Until, finally I sit and wait.

Shadow approaches and asks: Are you ready to accept that control is out of your hands?
Pray for Serenity.

I pray.

Shadow approaches and asks: Are you ready to accept you can not help those you so desperately try to protect? They need to learn to help themselves and you cannot fight that which has been created for them to learn. To do so will only prolong their pain.
Pray for Detachment.

I pray.

Shadow approaches and asks: Are you ready to accept that facing you energy outwardly on people, situations, and struggles only depletes you and causes pain? The only way to help the world is to help yourself.
Pray for Healing

I pray.

Shadow approaches and asks: Are you ready to accept that the negative people and situations around you are there to teach you a lesson?
Pray for forgiveness.

Ego speaks up. No, I’m not ready.

Shadow says sit and wait.