A friend of mine recently revealed quite a big secret to me. My initial reaction of, “thank you for trusting me enough to share your truth” was then replaced with an amazement, not of the secret itself, but how incredible it was that they had kept it locked in for so long. I can’t even begin to image how much energy and effort it took to hide. I started wondering about all kinds of people that are walking around with some kind of a secret locked inside of them. What kind of energy is being used up to protect their secrets? How is that constant drain effecting their lives? Do secrets effect health, relationships, and our over all well being? Do you have a secret?
For the most part, I am an open book. Sure, I hold somethings reserved as private and told only to my nearest and dearest, but I don’t have any major secrets. Trusting I could be authentically myself without fear of ridicule took some time to develop and I guess, for a long while I kept my true self hidden like a secret to be revealed to the world. It is hard to admit who we are or what we have landed ourselves in, when we are aware of the expectations of others to be or to behave in certain ways.
I know people that have careers that their parents wanted them to have, while inside screaming at them is a hidden desire to be something all together different. I know people that live with the pretense that keeping up with the Jones’s isn’t a problem even though their bank accounts say differently. I know people who married straight and started families, when the reality they so desperately wanted to deny, was that they were gay. I know people that are hiding the secret even to themselves that they simply aren't happy with the life they are living. I know, I certainly tried for years to hide the reality of who I truly was because of an overwhelming fear that I would never be accepted. Why is it so damn hard for us to be truthfully ourselves?
Living an authentic life means being truthful. Not just honest with other people but really honest with ourselves. What if that honesty, is something that doesn’t fit with the way you were raised? What if that truth of self is incongruent with the beliefs that were programed in to you from family and community? Life becomes crisis. Crisis between your inner and outer reality. I can’t believe that living in such a state over any length of time can be good for anyone. Talk about stress. Whoa!
We all want to be accepted. It is a human need. We also all try to avoid rejection or critical judgement. So from a mental perspective, it makes sense to try to adapt and hide any personal aspects that might cause negative reaction. Unfortunately, our spirit says “nope, it’s not going to be that easy! You are here to learn, to grow, and to live up to who you are meant to really be”. The truth is, we are not sheep (or sheeople as I sometimes joke). We are each unique beings, with special gifts that are supposed to shine. We can’t shine if we are cloaked in a shroud of secrecy.
We make mistakes. We are supposed to. That is how we learn and grow. Mistakes do not define us but how we react to them speaks to what we are made of. We need to own our mistakes equally as we own our successes. We need to love and accept ourselves for our strengths as well as our weakness. Being authentic comes at a price of vulnerability. I know it is difficult but it is worth it. The world needs you to be truly YOU.
Challenge for the day:
Show one person a glimmer of who you really are.
With love and light to all of you,
Stacy ☥
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